Story 3

 For those unversed, I have a baby sister who is 8 years younger than I am. The age gap apart , we are very thick and share few common interests some of them being involved in  stupidity/ kaand/jugaad what have you.

Between us if we ever have a motto it will be " If life is a math lesson and I am the constant then stupidity is my variable."

Sooo, the story Imma be telling you happened 6 years ago when I was heavily pregnant in my third trimester and my teenage sister used to display the functionality of her 4 brain cells in ample EVERY OTHER DAY.

One day this kid comes to me grinning but brows furrowed as if she is ready to pass a big ostrich egg from her behinds.

The convo goes thus

Sis: Hi chechi (chechi-didi in malayalam)

Me- hey?

S- pata hai kya hua?

M- mmm?

S-mera vodafone ka bill aya...

M- yes and ? ( I kinda sorta knew where this was going)

S- bill 12k hai 🙂

M - *ready to pass out* wtf  . Ab? Where is the bill now? And most importantly DOES DAD KNOW?!?!?!

By now even my unborn child was flipping inside my crammed uterus excited I guess about the entertainment he may hear when his grandpa gets to know about it.🙂

S- Arey but don't worry, I have taken care of it 😁.

When you hear that a teenager has 'taken care of it' it loosely translates to 'shit is gonna blow up later , I have fucked up. Welp!'

M- what did you do NOW?

S- I mailed the service provider from my mail id that the mail id provided (my dad's) no longer is valid and the bill be mailed to my id hence forth. 😁

In the world of emojis I was the facepalm one now

M -ahaa and what about the bill itself?

How are you gonna pay it?

S- This is where I need your HELP

M- say no more! I will give you half, the rest go figure 🙂

My sister was colon and a capital D in the world of emojis nodding away while I was silently praying because I knew from good experience that pyar, peepal ka ped aur kaand chupaye nahi chupta

And that is exactly what happened kids,exactly what happened.

Fast forward to a week later I was lying down just tired and waiting for this baby to pop out, while  my pea brained cute sistah was doing her thang when our dad's phone rang.

I swear kids , from the very first bell I knew what this was about.  Survival instincts,women's intution kya pata?

The convo goes thus-

Dad - hello yeah speaking?

Service Provider- blaa blaa

Dad- WHAT? KITNA KA BILL?

SP-bla bla

Dad- radio silence

Sp- bla bla

Dad- what mail and mail id? I didn't do any such thing?!

Some more tensed convos and  radio silence later , I hear my very very very strict dad calling my sis.

D- Come here , where is your phone?

S- huh? * walks in like a new born unsure calf*

D- phone?

S - here * hands over her phone*

D- where is your phone bill?

S- huh?

D- ok..what is your gmail id and password?

S-huh?mail? Gmail? What's that? * puts on the classic totally cluless bebe act*

Even my unborn child cringed searching for a corner inside to go cry at his aunt's overacting.

D- S, don't ACT LIKE THAT! We both know what you did ? Bla bla bla

Aeons of scream fest later , during which my sister stood like she was having an out of body experience...

D- Fucking 12k?

What were you doing?

S- using the net for studies * yea right😒*

D- *giving the Mai C nahi hu expression*

Acha? Should I request for a  detailed bill?

Go into your browser history?

S -.... *still giving the vibes of out of body experience.*

A lot more screaming and mom dramas later our Dad paid off the bill .

He still gives her the I know what you did that autumn / what is in your browser history looks.

Moral- Experiment with truths not stupidity..